SMack!

Lifestyle Dilemma

by Ashtarot - 08.08.1998

We publish the following text of an eMail for a special reason - It deals with a common problem which concerns many of us. We are faced with "wonderful" relationships - at least when you believe the postings in the chats, but when you talk to people you hear things like:
"My partner lives many miles away, we see eachother once a year"
"I feel so alone"
"All others tell me of their wonderful experiences with their Master/Mistress - I see my Master only v/t, but I long for r/t"
"I can't talk about my need with my husband/wife".

Sounds very familiar, doesn't it?

Why this article? - We believe its time to discuss this problem to show all those who feel like being in the "same boat" that they are not alone [ "Row faster! - the Captain wants to water ski" :-) ].
If you want to put your 2 cents in we would be happy to attach your mail to this article (anonymously if you want).

 Ashtarot

eMail by wondering
I'm a 42 yr. old slave, who's only been into the lifestyle a little over a
year. The only hitch is, the man i'm married to is not my Dom. Sound
familiar?, or am i just the minority? Sometimes i think i am. It's not easy going to other chat rooms when you hear is sub/slaves talking about life with their Dom/husbands. Am i truly living the "lifestyle" even though it's only a couple times a year when i'm with my Dom? I think so and he does too …

The main reason i'm writing is to know if there is anyone else out there who is in the "same boat" … i would like to know, then maybe i won't feel so "alone".

eMail by saffire (19 Oct 98)
wondering, you are not alone.
I know of many who are in your situation, myself included. My Dom is half a world away, but does that make me any less submissive to him?
Does that make our commitment to each other any less than that of those who are together frequently? No, it doesn't. This lifestyle is so varied with a wide range of people and tastes. Some prefer it only in the bedroom, others prefer it 24/7 (to the extent that real life allows).
Is one any more real than the other? More correct? I feel not. wondering, there are times when I physically ache for his touch, to look into his eyes. I envy those who wake with their partners on a regular basis. But I tell myself to be patient (ACK! I hate that word!).
For now, I'm not able to spend alot of time with him -- so that makes the time we have that much more special. I'm not sure if I have given you what you were looking for.
But I do know that you aren't alone in this. In my opinion, you do not
have to live the lifestyle 24/7 to be a submissive/slave. My submission is always there, whether my Dom is right here or miles away. The way I look at it, the lifestyle is within our hearts whether together or
apart. I imagine it's that way for you, too. So do not feel alone, wondering, there are many in the same situation as you. Maybe we can all take comfort in that fact.

eMail by deanna (03 Jan 99)
i am 44 year old submissive woman who has more the core place of a slave than of a submissive. i, too, have a life with a husband who is not in the lifestyle. That fact alone used to puzzle me until i came to realize that i had for many many years suppressed by slave nature ( one of those upbringing things). Now THATS another story!

i have an online Master, for over two years now. We have met r/t once, for a week. There is, i believe, a great power in the ability to be an online slave or submissive. i am living proof of that. Great experiences of true nature … of deep openings and awareness. Expeditions into sub space via telephone and cyber has shown me the awesome depth of this lifestyle.

You ask if you are "truly" living the lifestyle because it is v/t only. i believe you ARE living it. if you FEEL it, breathe it, KNOW it. OWN it, OBEY it.

There is the ever present reality that is the great demise of online subs and slaves … and that is the absence of real time.

… Past the wonders of cyber lays the honesty of reality.

Cyber can never replace the Master's hand … the Master's whip
The Master's demands.

We can do much in cyber but we cannot ever replace the reality that real time submission has. It is a power so much more intense … a thing i believe we ALL crave for.

Somehow, we find a way to exist in cyber, because we must.
To those who have the ability to be real time … i kneel in front of with great respect. i know already, that it will take great strength and constant training to be real time … something i, myself need, something i know will fill me with pure joy … (beautifully painful)
You are far from alone …